Applications for the TOS Crew are now open

It's time! Applications are now open for those interested in joining the TOS Crew review team.  Please refer to my earlier post HERE on recommendations before applying. 

If you'd like to apply as a member of the TOS Crew, it's officially posted on the TOS site HERE.  Please read all information carefully.
Applications for 1st round offers are open until 31st March.

Giving yourself permission to STOP

It's a little hard to think that our lives will soon be winding up to the full routine again next week. We want our children to enjoy a variety of activities, as well as the attention they need at home, but once those wheels of activity start turning we really do have to watch that they don't gather too much momentum so as to feel like we're losing control.

For the past 4 weeks, we've had a very relaxing routine holidaying at home. It's meant that we could focus on times together on some outings, doing some of those jobs around the house that usually only wait for a weekend, or me just having time to prepare more relaxing meals in the kitchen. I've even managed to read a couple of MY books from cover to cover instead of just speed reading through a few chapters.

Thinking ahead, I already know when some of those times of feeling burnt out are likely to occur. It's usually when there are various deadlines to be met, such as exams for the children's dancing and violin, or when I start helping with the costume making for the concert. It will also be when there's illness, and when any unknown trials come along. It will be when I have too many expectations and just can't stretch any further.

Being overburdened means you need to give yourself permission to stop. Give yourself permission to say 'no' and breathe. Be realistic about all those outings, or trying to tick all those boxes on your lists, and let the lesser priorities wait until another day. Saying 'no' to the children is probably the hardest, but a little tact of distraction, or asking them to give you 1 hr 'time out' before you even think about their request, often works here.

If you can delegate, do so. Sharing jobs that you feel only you can do is helping your children become more independent. That also means giving them bite-size responsibilities in the beginning, and be willing to put some early mistakes down to learning experience. I know that sometimes Mums can feel they must do everything, otherwise it won't be done properly, but that isn't really helping anyone (is it?)

I know that both parents can get very tired from the regular routine, but mixing things up a little gives some variety. Here are a few examples of activities we do here:

- Papa takes the children on a bike ride for a few hours. I can then use that time as I need/want.
- Take turns taking only one child out on a 'date' for a day while the other/s stay home with Papa (or relative/friend) .. and visa versa with Papa taking only one on a 'date'.
- A friend offers to have the children one night while you both go out, and you return the favour on another occasion.
- Put the bookwork away after lunch and everyone take on a family hobby (something outdoors is ideal). A kite making and flying day was something we did a few years ago .. lots of fun! Or maybe a game of cricket, a swim at a local waterhole ... you name it.
- Make one week a 'focus on art week', or something similar. Doing only one subject means the children and yourself can become absorbed into some creativity, spending as much time as you like each day on a project.

For mums especially:

- Don't forget to take on your hobby and show your children your interest. I'd forgotten recently that my children hadn't heard me play the piano much, and I should do so more often rather than just play for instruction. I also want to work on my quilting more, as I'd really like to see some UFOs (Un-Finished Projects) completed.

- Try to organise a pamper-yourself week occasionally. I'm prone to ignoring my need for a haircut and get everyone else organised first. One tip I've read on FlyLady is to mark on the calender when that haircut is booked (which is around every 4 months for myself). Then, for all of that week, plan at least one thing that is going to uplift you each day. It can be for an hour, or 10 mins. It's up to you. Eg: a relaxing soak in the tub (while Papa reads or plays a board game with the children), give yourself a manicure, make up the bedroom with fresh linen and a pretty vase of flowers, go out with some Mums for a cuppa and chat after dinner.

- In quieter weeks, 'make hay while the sun shines'. That is, prepare some meals in advance for those busier times. I'm trying to catch up on some baking now so that when all the dancing activities resume, I don't suddenly feel swamped into a mass of activity as well as trying to manage the household.

- Oh, and one I used to do but have been neglecting, take time for an occasional long walk on your own, at your own pace.


Don't forget to watch the children for signs of disinterest or stress, also. They may need a change of pace, or even perhaps something new altogether, to brighten them up again. Often I've been guilty of agreeing to too many outings in a week. Keeping the peace and a happy household is not an easy task, and not everyone has the same facilities or helpers around them, but the first task must be to be watchful and let everyone communicate their needs. That's at least one big step forward before choosing ideas to remedy the situation.

With that, I hope everyone has a lovely year ahead. No doubt, things will happen that were unplanned, and there'll be those very busy times ahead, but there also will be many wonderful times to remember.

Have a read of some other ideas on the topic of handling burn-out from the TOS Crew here.

Time to fill your own tank

Every day can buzz along so quickly. You blink and the morning has become the afternoon.

Let's just catch a moment in the morning, as the sun is rising, to sit. We can talk together before you head off to work, eating breakfast in quiet, sipping the freshly brewed coffee. Then after you've left, I have a few moments of solitude to read, think, pray.

Then the day begins with cuddles and smiles with the children. Our chores commence, as do the lessons. We'll stop occasionally to change our activity, but there's still always work to be done. The day builds momentum and I've only snatched a moment to stop and watch the children play with the dog, or made another cuppa before starting a new project.

There are then those times when the world is weighing us down. We need to retreat, take a walk and collect acorns, or investigate the blooms out in the garden. Sometimes we'll head to a park, me with my book and them full of energy.

When they were younger, we'd play with bubbles in the bath to turn frowns into smiles. Then we'd snuggle on the couch for a hug and a story. Other days they were happy to use some quiet time to give me my needed quiet time. We help each other through the tougher times.

Friends and family are there if we need them. We've learnt to ask if there's a need. But mostly we watch each other and have developed a balance over time. I fill your tank, you fill mine, and we each fill our own individually when we need to say 'enough' for a time. This is how we work and live together, because all too soon these days will be gone.

Before we know it, it's the end of the day. You're home with me, the children have had their time to talk with you, read, cuddle and play. They are in bed and we can be quiet. Do you remember that song from Carousel, called "When the Children are Asleep"? That makes me smile, with thoughts of how I imagined my life would be before we married, and now that family is mine. ☺

When the children are asleep we sit and dream,

The things that every other dad and mother dream.

When the children are asleep and lights are low,

If I still love you the way I love you today,

You'll pardon my sayin', I told you so...

When the children are asleep, I'll dream with you

We'll think what fun we have had and be glad

That it's all came true.

This week on the TOS Blog Cruise, we're discussing this question about personal time out. "How do you find free time? Is it okay to take time for yourself? If so, how?", so if you'd like to read the advice of others, head on over HERE.

"If you're homeschooling, what am I doing wrong?"

There is a saying about learning to walk in the shoes of others. It is a reminder that we are to be mindful of how other people perceive their world. I think that it is good to remember this when we begin to proclaim how we've found a new option, such as homeschooling. Do we want to alienate or draw family and friends in to our discovery and experiences?

So often I've been asked about the "Why?" we chose to homeschool. My early answer used to be "I couldn't find a school I was happy to send my children to." Well, now, doesn't that answer just stop the conversation? Immediately it puts the other person on the defensive, because they've put their children into one of those schools! Ah, I had a lot to learn about how to use my words, and I wish I could go and take them back, starting that whole conversation over again.

Now, I'm rephrasing my answers so as to indicate that I found that there is another option. (And remember, many don't know that homeschooling is a legal, supported option to parents.) Now that we know about and have chosen homeschooling, we can have a routine that is still educational, but different from schools. We can aim for the positive outcomes schools encourage, but I'm happy that I can actively participate as their parent in all their learning activities.

How do you answer, though, when there is adverse disagreement? Maybe the person to whom you're speaking has some misconceptions, or really does believe that the educational system offered through schools is really ideal. Well, the best I can advise, again from my own shoes, is to hear them out and ask that they respect that you have been researching the requirements, and will continue to endevour to fulfill your child's needs in every way you possibly can.

Sometimes, it's worth sharing, should the conversation lead further along this path, that there are guidelines through the education department available also. I point out, though, that we don't need to stop educational activities during term breaks if we don't want to, or if I feel my children need some extra attention in a particular area. Likewise, if my children are developing through another stage and they're learning is waning, we can choose to break for a week to do other things beside bookwork. The choice of homeschooling allows me to tailor the needs of my family in a way that is different from schools. We can add extra areas and methods of learning, or delete certain topics we don't want to cover.

"The proof is also in the pudding!" (You can see I like these little proverbs, can't you? ☺) I think the most worrying time for friends and family are for those younger years, when children are still needing to learn their basic maths and reading (well, that was my personal experience). I mean, I myself had concerns about HOW I should teach these things. Me, who already had a Grad. Dip.Ed.,  realised that no one had actually taught me the process of teaching a child to read! But once we started to do this, and the children showed enthusiasm and gained confidence, this all just fell into place. I did my own homework and found there were plenty of resources, but you did have to look. There are education resource shops open to the public, plus many online sites offering worksheets and information. Actually, I now feel far better prepared to do a public teaching job with the research I have behind me than I did after completing my diploma.

At the other end of the scale, many worry about the options that we can provide to our children through high school and entering university. Maestro will begin high school next year, but our routine has meant that he's bridging into those high school texts already, at his own pace and with understanding. There are also many options open to us to bridge into university studies that don't have to be limited to a state certificate (VCE), such as the International Baccalaureate, and Open Uni.

You see, homeschooling really is just different! We don't shut them away. They still have other activities and gatherings (excursions, etc.) with many of the other homeschooling families. We can approach education from another angle or family philosophy. I'm happy to share what we've been learning along the way, and hope that others will share their wonderful discoveries also.

If I could really say one most important thing in answering any concerned questions from family and friends, it would be to listen.  Let them ask you questions.  If you hadn't considered that aspect to an issue before, show an interest and let them know that you'll look into that for some answers or consider the matter in discussion with your spouse.  Validate their concerns if they are genuine.  Express your desire to nurture your children to the best of your ability and that you won't be ignorant. In return, I personally then expect respect for my decision that has not been made in haste.

I know my own family and friends do read my blog, so I hope they see that this is a way of my expressing that I've learnt to be much more careful with my words. If I should have offended, please accept my love and apologies. We should be edifying each other, aiming to encourage the good things in each other.


This topic, "How do you respond to family/friends that don't support your decision to homeschool?", is being discussed by other TOS Crew members through the TOS Blog Cruise. Please head on over and read other people's perspectives on this question, as we've all had a myriad of experiences which will be reflected in our opinions and advice.

Weighing in the costs of homeschooling, literally

I admit, I haven't been asked this question too often lately: "Doesn't homeschooling cost more money than sending (junior) to public school?" It certainly was a topic discussed with friends in our early homeschooling years, so I must have answered it pretty well to not warrant any further investigations.

Actually, how DO you answer that question? There are so many choices as to how you homeschool that will determine where the literal dollar is invested. Most homeschooling families are only on one wage, so a careful analysis of the home budget is something that will need your time.

All government subsides aside, lets take a raw look at those things that you need to consider. What are the basics you are going to need?

I think it would be pretty obvious that a basic set of stationery would be a need. The items you choose can be as simple as a pencil case with a couple of lead pencils, a pen, eraser, sharpener, ruler, and coloured pencils should get you started. Then there would be the paper, lined and/or unlined, coloured project paper, maybe an exercise book, or a binder for the loose pages.

I kept our earliest stationery costs to a minimum by purchasing a craft pack from Homeschooling Supplies. It was designed to have all the required bits and bobs a 4-7yr old would need to get the phonic craft projects done, with some to spare. Purchasing a pack like this was certainly a lot cheaper than having to buy bulk packs of paper, glitter, special cards, etc. In fact, I've gone back and purchased those packs independently of the phonics books so that we had that 'minimum' array of stationery and craft materials on a rainy day. (Look up "Phonics - Kit Parts" and you'll see two art packs available.)

Our stationery 'wants' have also played a part in our expenses, especially as the children grew older. Some of these items were small whiteboards per child, with the accompanying markers. I also bought a comb binder for our book making. It's been very handy for me in binding up all those free books I get online, too. Finally, I also bought a laminator.  From this I've made up my own flashcards, calendar for the children to practice 'making' the date, protected reusable pages such as the handwriting guide and number board (yes .. a future post here), and some games I've made up.

Okay, so we're set up with stationery, but we still need to teach our children. From what do we teach? "Well, books!" I hear most of you say. Choosing a curriculum can be daunting when you start out, so just start slowly. I think if you can get hold of some good fiction and junior non-fiction from the library, you can have literacy, copywork/handwriting if you take sections of what you or the child is reading each day. Better still, you can use that selected piece for copywork to highlight some pointers on grammar too.

Maths is one subject that will most likely be a first priority as far as looking for a text, unless this is a talent you have and you can adequately break the learning into smaller steps quite easily. Don't underestimate the library again, here. For the junior years, there are copious books written on counting, sorting, ordering, etc. If living books are your choice, then don't overlook the Living Math site for lesson plan ideas and their wonderful list of books per learning area.

Math manipulatives can be quite simple in the beginning. I kept small tubs of bottle tops, pegs, buttons and a number board I printed off showing the groupings in tens (from 0-99). A set of cuisenaire rods and base ten blocks weren't purchased until we were doing groupings (around grade 2).

The other subject areas could be done through library books also, that is to select a theme and then write up some of the highlights learnt, in the form of a unit study. Science, history and geography can all be done that way.

But what if you are looking for an actual curriculum? Why do people like myself choose a more expensive program like Sonlight?

Well, for starters we homeschooled with the basics as I've described above. Unfortunately I didn't blog about our homeschool happenings then, but yes, that's what we did. Then I purchased some very basic books from Homeschooling Supplies. These assured me that we were 'covering our bases' and it was my real first point of contact with another homeschooling family (yes, we started out not knowing any other homeschoolers, but that's another story.)

As my circle of homeschooling friends and knowledge increased, we began to realise there was a whole other world out there. There actually were books for homeschoolers, and in many different flavours for learning styles. Okay, I'm going on a bit of a tangent here, but that really was a factor that began to influence where the money got spent. This was where we had to do some serious budgeting, because over the course of the next few years the question WE were having to ask ourselves really was "Will homeschooling now become the more expensive option?"

We liked the literature that Sonlight offered, but knew that most of the books weren't available in our Australian libraries. We'd have to buy them, somehow. We had to budget carefully after doing research on purchasing and resale values.

I highly recommend the following points in planning your homeschool budget:

- Keep a list of books or courses that you find may be of interest.

- If you can arrange it, meet with others who can show you some of what they are using. The homeschool forums are great for this. Ask questions! Meet new people and you'll most likely find that many will be most willing to share.

- When you're quite adamant about the books you'd like to use, shop around. I keep an Excel spreadsheet of suppliers and do cost comparisons. Some places I like to check out regularly are Book Depository and Christianbook (check their 'Homeschooling' page often for weekly or monthly specials). If you're after a really good price comparison on new books, then Booko is worth checking out (for those buying in Australia primarily). It compares Fishpond, Amazon and many others. Realise, though, that it's not an exhaustive list of suppliers.

- Then contemplate how many of those things can you source secondhand, on loan from a friend, or even better, for free? Op shops often have a very high turnover of educational books, so ask if they can hold an encyclopedia set, or music books, for you. Libraries usually need to turn over their stock, too, and we've acquired many free books from the librarian who is looking to give them a new home. Again, too, don't overlook asking for "Wanted to Buy/Borrow" through the TRP homeschool forum, or check the list of classifieds on AHS Classifieds. You may also choose to sell on any books you've already decided you no longer need, for no advertising cost on either of these sites.

In my left sidebar there are lists with links to homeschooling forums, homeschooling links and sites offering teachers helps and ideas (many of which are free). I update this if anything in particular does grab my attention (remember ... I use my blog as a bit of a reference tool too, so if I want to find something later, it'll be there!)

One thing I haven't yet mentioned are those 'extra curricula' activities. We have dancing and music lessons. I know this an extra expense, but I've put the income I receive from helping to make the dance costumes and my singing students into the picture here. If your family does do a sport or another hobby, this needs to be considered also.

Well, I don't know if I answered the question of price comparisons, really. I don't know if I can give a blunt 'yes' or 'no' as there are so many factors involved. To do an absolute comparison, you would need to find out the fees a school is charging, the number of excursions in which they participate/cost, uniforms and shoes, and any other supplies that may be needed for your child.  You won't need to sell your books for each child so as to acquire the latest edition, either. What I can say is that homeschooling can be tailored to fit into your budget quite well. It doesn't NOT have to cost that much, without compromising on what you will help your child learn. Making use of the free resources around you first is a good way to start, especially if you're trying to find your feet. It's most likely that you'll be investing time researching either way, which is absolutely the best way to go before spending.

If you'd like to read input from others who are sharing their advice on the cost of homeschooling, jump on over to the Homeschool Blog Cruise.