"If you're homeschooling, what am I doing wrong?"

There is a saying about learning to walk in the shoes of others. It is a reminder that we are to be mindful of how other people perceive their world. I think that it is good to remember this when we begin to proclaim how we've found a new option, such as homeschooling. Do we want to alienate or draw family and friends in to our discovery and experiences?

So often I've been asked about the "Why?" we chose to homeschool. My early answer used to be "I couldn't find a school I was happy to send my children to." Well, now, doesn't that answer just stop the conversation? Immediately it puts the other person on the defensive, because they've put their children into one of those schools! Ah, I had a lot to learn about how to use my words, and I wish I could go and take them back, starting that whole conversation over again.

Now, I'm rephrasing my answers so as to indicate that I found that there is another option. (And remember, many don't know that homeschooling is a legal, supported option to parents.) Now that we know about and have chosen homeschooling, we can have a routine that is still educational, but different from schools. We can aim for the positive outcomes schools encourage, but I'm happy that I can actively participate as their parent in all their learning activities.

How do you answer, though, when there is adverse disagreement? Maybe the person to whom you're speaking has some misconceptions, or really does believe that the educational system offered through schools is really ideal. Well, the best I can advise, again from my own shoes, is to hear them out and ask that they respect that you have been researching the requirements, and will continue to endevour to fulfill your child's needs in every way you possibly can.

Sometimes, it's worth sharing, should the conversation lead further along this path, that there are guidelines through the education department available also. I point out, though, that we don't need to stop educational activities during term breaks if we don't want to, or if I feel my children need some extra attention in a particular area. Likewise, if my children are developing through another stage and they're learning is waning, we can choose to break for a week to do other things beside bookwork. The choice of homeschooling allows me to tailor the needs of my family in a way that is different from schools. We can add extra areas and methods of learning, or delete certain topics we don't want to cover.

"The proof is also in the pudding!" (You can see I like these little proverbs, can't you? ☺) I think the most worrying time for friends and family are for those younger years, when children are still needing to learn their basic maths and reading (well, that was my personal experience). I mean, I myself had concerns about HOW I should teach these things. Me, who already had a Grad. Dip.Ed.,  realised that no one had actually taught me the process of teaching a child to read! But once we started to do this, and the children showed enthusiasm and gained confidence, this all just fell into place. I did my own homework and found there were plenty of resources, but you did have to look. There are education resource shops open to the public, plus many online sites offering worksheets and information. Actually, I now feel far better prepared to do a public teaching job with the research I have behind me than I did after completing my diploma.

At the other end of the scale, many worry about the options that we can provide to our children through high school and entering university. Maestro will begin high school next year, but our routine has meant that he's bridging into those high school texts already, at his own pace and with understanding. There are also many options open to us to bridge into university studies that don't have to be limited to a state certificate (VCE), such as the International Baccalaureate, and Open Uni.

You see, homeschooling really is just different! We don't shut them away. They still have other activities and gatherings (excursions, etc.) with many of the other homeschooling families. We can approach education from another angle or family philosophy. I'm happy to share what we've been learning along the way, and hope that others will share their wonderful discoveries also.

If I could really say one most important thing in answering any concerned questions from family and friends, it would be to listen.  Let them ask you questions.  If you hadn't considered that aspect to an issue before, show an interest and let them know that you'll look into that for some answers or consider the matter in discussion with your spouse.  Validate their concerns if they are genuine.  Express your desire to nurture your children to the best of your ability and that you won't be ignorant. In return, I personally then expect respect for my decision that has not been made in haste.

I know my own family and friends do read my blog, so I hope they see that this is a way of my expressing that I've learnt to be much more careful with my words. If I should have offended, please accept my love and apologies. We should be edifying each other, aiming to encourage the good things in each other.


This topic, "How do you respond to family/friends that don't support your decision to homeschool?", is being discussed by other TOS Crew members through the TOS Blog Cruise. Please head on over and read other people's perspectives on this question, as we've all had a myriad of experiences which will be reflected in our opinions and advice.